you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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