Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize