Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
