his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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