last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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