Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
