You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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