God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
