speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
