My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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