i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize