none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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