his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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