This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
