You work out of a Hotel?
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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