Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
