six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
