omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
