He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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