I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
