You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
why is half of my head shaved?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
