Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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