haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
