I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
