STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
