So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
