apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
