My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
