I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
