More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
