i may or may not be watching the land before time
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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