its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
