I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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