dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
