Three words: puerto rican gang bang
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
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