i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize