Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
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