I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
