I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
