I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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