I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
