SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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