It's Friday. Sex?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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