we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
