mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
