Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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