I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
sex in a hospital.. check
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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