i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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