'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize