I want to stick my p in your. b.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
