I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
