when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
that's an acceptable place to lick
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
