Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
