can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
