I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
