Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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