I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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