She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
