Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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