Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
