moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
