Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Randomize
