filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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