That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize